That annoying Telstra scam call.

[KTJ]

Do what I do when I get similar calls claiming they are from Spark … string them along and have a bit of fun wasting their time.

I tell them I have to boot up my computer and could they please hold.

I then go away and carry on with whatever else I was doing.

After a few minutes, I go back to the phone and tell them I've managed to start my computer, and how would they like to help me.

Then I deliberately turn into a total, computer-illiterate dumbarse.

I keep telling them to hold while I attempt to carry out their instructions, then bugger off for several minutes and carry on with whatever else I was doing before returning to string them along some more, then leave them on hold again and again and again.

The longest I've managed to string one of these people along for is just over an hour before the perp finally gave up and hung-up on me.

I considered that to be a huge notch on my belt each time I manage to string them along for a greater period of time than thirty minutes.

[Deleted]

I usually find it a good opportunity to test my smoke alarm with the phone held next to it...

[Deleted]

Mar 4, 2019 14:27:51 GMT 10 Gort said:

Hey Grim,
I tried out the smoke alarm test button trick on today's scam caller.

He was pretty tough, it took 4 doses to get him off the line.

He was calling me all manner of things between doses and threatening to rape my wife.

wow! Tough customer!

[Gort]

Spam calls still persist.

I've got the solution now:

[KTJ]

The last spam call I got supposedly from Spark where a recorded message told me I was about to have my internet connection cut-off was three weeks ago just before I headed off down to Fiordland.

The recorded message gave me the usual option to press 1 to talk to them about it, so I pressed one.

An Indian voice came on and started the usual con-artist spiel.

So I called him a “dumb curry muncher” and told him I had fucked his sister. “Click” … he hung up on me. Problem solved.

[pim]

What a clever racist kiwi you are