|
|
Post by matt on Feb 2, 2013 23:14:16 GMT 10
I remember during my early teens, I was quite lost, unsure of who I was, and even an academic underachiever. I could not spell for the life of me, and could not string a sentence together.
I then ran into these Mormon missionaries, and after a few lessons with them I decided I would convert. I felt what they had told me was the truth, and perhaps that was because they themselves believed it.
After diligent study and sincere prayer over a few years, I came to the conclusion that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was a fraud. The people that are members for the most part are wonderful, kind and generous. However, what they believe is an absolute lie.
The spirit guided me to Hillsong Church, where I was baptised in Jesus name.
This was the point my life turned around, the point where I became mature and my mind opened. It was a miracle, I could now spell, I could now write properly, and I could now go to university.
Since being saved by Jesus, life has not been the same. I have had challenges, but Jesus has always been there with me to guide me through.
I owe my life to the Lord, and I will never be able to repay the debt to Him.
I plead with each of you to pray to Jesus, invite him into your life, be sincere, and be saved before it is too late. Jesus is the way, the truth and the light.
|
|
|
|
Post by matt on Feb 2, 2013 23:19:44 GMT 10
Reading the King James Version bible exclusively really helped with my reading and writing. It should be compulsory reading in Standard English classes.
|
|
|
|
Post by matt on Feb 2, 2013 23:24:13 GMT 10
John 3
[...]
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
|
|
|
|
Post by garfield on Feb 2, 2013 23:29:39 GMT 10
Jesus sucks dogs balls, satan rules man, go the devil, the devil will kick jesus's arse and yours too if you're not careful.
|
|
|
|
Post by Occam's Spork on Feb 2, 2013 23:33:15 GMT 10
You believe in a devil, Garfield?
You are making progress.
|
|
|
|
Post by matt on Feb 2, 2013 23:33:20 GMT 10
Jesus sucks dogs balls, satan rules man, go the devil, the devil will kick jesus's arse and yours too if you're not careful. |
|
|
|
Post by Occam's Spork on Feb 4, 2013 5:43:23 GMT 10
So a self fathered Zombie is going to do what exactly? Have dinner with the talking ape man, and his self-replicating wildlife? |
|
|
|
Post by pim on Feb 4, 2013 10:43:09 GMT 10
You believe in a devil, Garfield? You are making progress. Hang in there with Garfield, Dib. Don't give up on him. Where he's "at" is in using old outmoded Cold War terminology as hooks to hang ideas on. So everything to Garfield is either "left" (and therefore irredeemably bad) or "right" (and therefore sensible and reasonable and rational). So on the principle of meeting an individual where he's "at", Garfield almost fits the profile of a US Tea Party fruitcake. Almost!! But not quite! If you make a Tea Party check list Garfield ticks most of the boxes (or "checks" most of the boxes as a linguistic concession to North Americans): 1. He's a white backlash redneck. He doesn't like blackfellas or brownfellas. He hates the whole idea of immigration from anywhere that isn't Anglophone White and refugees should be shot on sight. As for Australia's First Peoples, Garfield believes they should just STFU and accept their destiny which is to become extinct. You might say that on those issues, Garfield is definitely Tea Party right wing. 2. Garfield loves guns. The more lethal the better. As for background checks and gun licences, Garfield just c & p's his views from the latest NRA press release. There would be zero daylight on this issue between Garfield's views and the standard Tea Party position. Definitely a rootin' tootin' shoot-first-'n'-ask-questions-later wild colonial boy on this one. The Tea Party would love him. 3. Garfield hates any sort of social welfare safety net. No if's or but's. Anyone who gets any sort of government benefit is a "bludger" which as a very Australian slang term for someone who lives off the hard work of other people while doing no work himself. Tax is evil in Garfield's universe. Not a necessary evil but just plain evil and therefore reprehensible. He seems to get his views from the loopier end of voodoo economics. The Tea Party would be crazy about him. 4. Garfield loves Big Coal and Big Oil and regards the science behind current ideas of climate change and global warming as "leftist" conspiracy. Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh have nothing on this guy. In fact Garfield's hostility to the Australian equivalent of the (US) Democrats which is the Australian Labor Party runs so deep and is so visceral that you can only conclude that Garfield believes that parties like the ALP should be declared criminal organisations and outlawed. So far so redneck! And yet I can't see the likes of Michelle Bachmann running to embrace him as a Tea Party Hero. Something's missing and that's the "God" thing. On every indicator but one, Garfield checks out as 100% pure Tea Party white supremacist "send the coloured bludgers home and make our own bludgers here at home work or starve" and repeal all gun laws and use the guns to shoot "lefties". But to be a genuine, real McCoy, rootin' tootin', gun totin', small government, "lefty" hatin' libertarian you have to have "Gahd" at the centre of it all and that's the big gap in Garfield's profile. Because on the check list of redneck virtues Garfield chcks out as extreme "right" except for the "God" thing. Surprisingly, Garfield is extreme "left" on God. It simply won't do! I tellya, Dib, if you bring Garfield into the "God" tent you'll have completed the circle and he'll completely eclipse Matt as a God-botherin' mantra-chantin' fanatic  |
|
