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Post by kiwithrottlejockey on Apr 14, 2020 18:10:50 GMT 10
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Post by Gort on Apr 15, 2020 11:01:17 GMT 10
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?' 'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered. Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked. Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up'.The man gestured, and the gate began to open. 'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveller asked. 'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. 'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?' 'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in..' 'How about my friend here?' the traveller gestured to the dog. There should be a bowl by the pump.'
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree. 'What do you call this place?' the traveller asked. This is Heaven,' he answered. 'Well, that's confusing,' the traveller said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.' 'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.' 'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?' 'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'
~Anonymous
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Post by Gort on May 17, 2020 13:23:40 GMT 10
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Post by Gort on May 30, 2020 13:11:49 GMT 10
Judgment Is Executed on COVID-19: by Kenneth Copeland Mar 30, 2020 As people of God, we have dominion and authority over COVID-19, because Jesus has redeemed us from every curse, which includes sickness, disease and every plague (Galatians 3:13). Kenneth Copeland stands in the office of a prophet of God, and on Sunday, March 29, 2020, he declared that judgment be executed on COVID-19: "In the Name of Jesus, standing in the office of the prophet of God, I execute judgment on you COVID-19. I execute judgment on you, satan, you destroyer, you killer. You get out. I break your power. You get off this nation. I demand judgment on you. I demand. I demand. "I demand a vaccination to come immediately. I call you done. I call you gone. You come down from your place of authority, destroyer. You come down and you crawl on your belly like God commanded you when He put His foot on your head in the Garden of Eden. You will destroy through COVID-19 no more. 'It is finished! It is over! And the United States of America is healed and well again,' saith the mighty Spirit called Peace, who is also the Prince of War, the Lord Jesus Christ." We must choose to exercise our authority and dominion over COVID-19 with our words. Get into agreement with the prophet, and declare God's judgment on COVID-19. It is defeated in the Name of Jesus!
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Post by fat on Jun 6, 2020 4:06:50 GMT 10
<heavy sigh>
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Post by Gort on Jun 23, 2020 12:25:22 GMT 10
¡Madre mía!Experts call for regulation after latest botched art restoration in SpainImmaculate Conception painting by Murillo reportedly cleaned by furniture restorerBartolomé Esteban Murillo’s original work (left) and two attempts at restoring it. Photograph: Cedida por Coleccionista/Europa Press 2020 Conservation experts in Spain have called for a tightening of the laws covering restoration work after a copy of a famous painting by the baroque artist Bartolomé Esteban Murillo became the latest in a long line of artworks to suffer a damaging and disfiguring repair. A private art collector in Valencia was reportedly charged €1,200 by a furniture restorer to have the picture of the Immaculate Conception cleaned. However, the job did not go as planned and the face of the Virgin Mary was left unrecognisable despite two attempts to restore it to its original state. The case has inevitably resulted in comparisons with the infamous “Monkey Christ” incident eight years ago, when a devout parishioner’s attempt to restore a painting of the scourged Christ on the wall of a church on the outskirts of the north-eastern Spanish town of Borja made headlines around the world. Botched restoration of an Elias Garcia Martinez fresco on the walls of the Santuario de Misericordia de Borja church in Zaragoza, Spain. Photograph: Centro de Estudios Borjanos/EPA Parallels have also been drawn with the botched restoration of a 16th-century polychrome statue of Saint George and the dragon in northern Spain that left the warrior saint resembling Tintin or a Playmobil figure. Fernando Carrera, a professor at the Galician School for the Conservation and Restoration of Cultural Heritage, said such cases highlighted the need for work to be carried out only by properly trained restorers. “I don’t think this guy – or these people – should be referred to as restorers,” Carrera told the Guardian. “Let’s be honest: they’re bodgers who botch things up. They destroy things.” Carrera, a former president of Spain’s Professional Association of Restorers and Conservators (Acre), said the law currently allowed people to engage in restoration projects even if they lacked the necessary skills. “Can you imagine just anyone being allowed to operate on other people? Or someone being allowed to sell medicine without a pharmacist’s licence? Or someone who’s not an architect being allowed to put up a building?” While restorers were “far less important than doctors”, he added, the sector sill needed to be strictly regulated for the sake of Spain’s cultural history. “We see this kind of thing time and time again and yet it keeps on happening. “Paradoxically, it shows just how important professional restorers are. We need to invest in our heritage, but even before we talk about money, we need to make sure that the people who undertake this kind of work have been trained in it.” María Borja, one of Acre’s vice-presidents, also said incidents such as the Murillo mishap were “unfortunately far more common than you might think”. Speaking to Europa Press, which broke news of the Murillo repair, she added: “We only find out about them when people report them to the press or on social media, but there are numerous situation when works are undertaken by people who aren’t trained.” Non-professional interventions, Borja added, “mean that artworks suffer and the damage can be irreversible”. Carrera said Spain had a huge amount of cultural and historical heritage because of all the different groups that have passed through the country over the centuries, leaving behind their marks and monuments. Another part of the problem, he added, was that “some politicians just don’t give a toss about heritage”, meaning that Spain did not have the financial resources to safeguard all the treasures of its past. “We need to focus society’s attention on this so that it chooses representatives who put heritage on the agenda,” he said. “It doesn’t have to be at the very top because it’s obviously not like healthcare or employment – there are many more important things. But this is our history.” www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2020/jun/22/experts-call-for-regulation-after-latest-botched-art-restoration-in-spain
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Post by pim on Jun 23, 2020 14:35:28 GMT 10
And this is supposed to be amusing because ...?
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Post by KTJ on Jun 24, 2020 18:49:15 GMT 10
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Post by Occam's Spork on Jun 25, 2020 13:19:08 GMT 10
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Post by Gort on Jul 14, 2020 23:27:53 GMT 10
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Post by Gort on Jul 19, 2020 23:03:54 GMT 10
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Post by Gort on Aug 20, 2020 11:19:59 GMT 10
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Post by Gort on Aug 25, 2020 11:44:10 GMT 10
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Post by pim on Aug 25, 2020 13:41:39 GMT 10
Soo ... anti-vaxxing works?
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Post by Occam's Spork on Sept 25, 2020 11:37:55 GMT 10
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly. "Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?" The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?" And then she went back to reading her book.
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Post by Occam's Spork on Sept 26, 2020 0:07:02 GMT 10
Atheist Children Church
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Post by pim on Sept 26, 2020 1:08:29 GMT 10
Religious Shit
Taoism Shit happens.
Buddhism If shit happens, it's not really shit.
Islam If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.
Protestantism Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Judaism Why does this shit always happen to us?
Hinduism This shit happened before.
Catholicism Shit happens because you're bad.
Hare Krishna Shit happens rama rama.
T.V. Evangelism Send more shit.
Atheism No shit.
Jehovah’s Witnesses Knock knock, shit happens.
Hedonism There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Christian Science Shit happens in your mind.
Agnosticism Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Rastafarianism Let's smoke this shit.
Existentialism What is shit anyway?
Stoicism This shit doesn't bother me.
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Post by Gort on Oct 11, 2020 12:16:55 GMT 10
Evangelicals and Trump.
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Post by Gort on Oct 16, 2020 12:01:53 GMT 10
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Post by Gort on Nov 11, 2020 0:45:51 GMT 10
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Post by fat on Nov 12, 2020 21:27:50 GMT 10
'e's orf 'is twist
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Post by Occam's Spork on Nov 13, 2020 13:20:18 GMT 10
My opinion is that Kenneth Copeland is one of those 'false prophets', the Apostle Paul warned us about.
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Post by Gort on Nov 15, 2020 11:03:32 GMT 10
Sing-a-long time ...
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Post by Gort on Nov 23, 2020 22:14:20 GMT 10
Eindhoven, The Netherlands Supporters of the anti-Islam movement Pegida, dressed as the traditional Zwarte Piet protest for the preservation of Zwarte Piet. Initially, Kick Out Zwarte Piet (KOZP) also planned the rally in Eindhoven but group announced that it would cancel the demonstration due to the arrival of Pegida Photograph: Robin Utrecht/REX/Shutterstock
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Post by Occam's Spork on May 2, 2021 13:02:19 GMT 10
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