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Noah
Apr 11, 2014 12:15:37 GMT 10
Post by pim on Apr 11, 2014 12:15:37 GMT 10
I saw the movie a little while ago (before my cataract surgery which went very well, thanks for asking!).
I'd heard it was a load of codswallop.
It was.
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Noah
Apr 12, 2014 7:07:21 GMT 10
Post by Occam's Spork on Apr 12, 2014 7:07:21 GMT 10
It's Russell Crowe's penance for his terrible performance in Les Miserables.
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Noah
Apr 12, 2014 10:05:51 GMT 10
Post by jody on Apr 12, 2014 10:05:51 GMT 10
oi....Russel was very good in les Mis.
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Noah
Apr 12, 2014 10:07:27 GMT 10
Post by Occam's Spork on Apr 12, 2014 10:07:27 GMT 10
Worst. singing. ever. My opinion. I'm not sorry.
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Noah
Apr 12, 2014 12:13:33 GMT 10
Post by jody on Apr 12, 2014 12:13:33 GMT 10
He is how I pictured Javert......very gruff, rough around the edges. The whole movie was brilliantly cast.
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Noah
Apr 13, 2014 4:36:32 GMT 10
Post by Occam's Spork on Apr 13, 2014 4:36:32 GMT 10
Nah, that was Moses. Different story.
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Noah
Apr 13, 2014 17:05:33 GMT 10
Post by pim on Apr 13, 2014 17:05:33 GMT 10
"Rusty" seems to be turning into the Charlton Heston of the 21 st century. Sorry Ed, I can't agree. Russell Crowe's Noah is zero compared with Charlton Heston's Moses. As stand-alone movies, The 10 Commandments and Ben-Hur are great pieces of cinema and also acting. I thought Charlton Heston's politics stank but the guy was an actor. If you look for an over-arching theme in those movies they are unquestionably Cold War movies. Especially The 10 Commandments - Cecil B. de Mille made that in-your-face obvious with his personal intro at the beginning of the movie when he raved on about "the birth of freedom" and how now "we face a new tyranny" under which millions are "enslaved" and where the cry of Moses "Let My People Go" achieves a modern resonance blah blah blah. I thought that maybe, just maybe, there might be an equivalent attempt to link Noah with early 21st century ideological concerns and the best I could do was that perhaps the good guys were the conservationist vegetarian greenies and the bad guys were the rapacious carnivorous industrialist consumers but there was just so much bullshit, bad acting and reliance on CGIs - in fact you might argue that it was all CGIs, no acting and little dialogue, with maybe the odd bit of biffo - that quite frankly I thought that as cinema it was pathetic. This has nothing to do with the objections that the fundamentalist biblical literalists are levelling, quite frankly I couldn't give a rodent's posterior about that. I just think it was a bad film. I don't know how David Stratton and Margaret Pomeranz score it but I give it half a star at best. For Occam's benefit there's a program on public television here called "The Movie Show" in which an ageing pair of very twee wankers critique the week's movie offerings. They are very twee, but they do know their stuff. They give a star ranking to the particular movie that they're giving a critique of with 5 stars as the top ranking. My own view is that Noah should go down as the Worst Movie of 2014. It doesn't even work as a fantasy movie. Give me Lord of the Rings if you want a good fantasy movie that seeks to come across as an epic. Russell Crowe is lots of things. And he's not a bad actor. I liked him in Gladiator and in lots of other movies. But a latter-day Charlton Heston he ain't!!
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Noah
Apr 14, 2014 8:05:20 GMT 10
Post by jody on Apr 14, 2014 8:05:20 GMT 10
The atheists hate it, the full on Christians hate it....the "normal" people like or love it.
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Noah
Apr 14, 2014 9:11:40 GMT 10
Post by Occam's Spork on Apr 14, 2014 9:11:40 GMT 10
He is how I pictured Javert......very gruff, rough around the edges. The whole movie was brilliantly cast. Geoffrey Rush of the 1998 film, was how I pictured Javert.
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Noah
Apr 14, 2014 12:36:40 GMT 10
Post by pim on Apr 14, 2014 12:36:40 GMT 10
The atheists hate it, the full on Christians hate it....the "normal" people like or love it. 1. I'm not an atheist so you can't accuse me of "hating" it ("hate"??) on those grounds 2. I'm buggered if I know what a "full-on Christian" is. Do you mean of the Matt variety? But they hate everything that doesn't fit into their particular echo chamber. 3. Am I "not normal" because I think Noah is a crap movie? That tells us more about what you mean by "normal" than anything else. 4. If I judged movies on a biblical theme by their strict adherence to scriptural accuracy then all movies that portray themselves as biblical "epics" would be dismissed as crap movies. But that would be a judgement based 100% on theology and 0% on cinematography. I think the two great biblical classics, The 10 Commandments and Ben Hur are wonderful movies - as movies!! Theologically they conform to a particular conservative view of the Bible that also happened to feed into (and feed off!) the Cold War "zeitgeist" of the late 1950s and early 1960s. This isn't me being "lefty", the producer Cecil B. de Mille himself made it abundantly clear in terms that were utterly unambiguous. People believed at the time that the world was teetering on the brink of nuclear annihilation - and that is no exaggeration - and Hollywood reflected the apocalyptic mood of impending destruction with a spate of movies on biblical themes. Most of them were duds and have sunk without a trace. I vaguely remember the movies The Robe, Quo Vadis and Demetrius and the Gladiators which all date from that period. I also recall a movie on Samson and Delilah. The two best parts were the biffo scenes where Samson wipes out a Philistine army with the jawbone of an ass, and when he uses super strength in a suicide bid to bring down a pagan Philistine temple. But who watches those movies today? Or even heard of them? There was another movie that stirs faintly in my memory banks about Barabbas, the guy condemned to death whom the Jews demanded be released instead of Jesus. The movie gives a notional (very Hollywood) account of how his life might have panned out after Jesus got hammered to a cross instead of him. But Jody, nobody remembers those movies - and deservedly so. They were Z grade movies and deserve the utter obscurity they've been consigned to. On the other hand The 10 Commandments and Ben-Hur stand out as the two great biblical movie classics, and there's no doubt about it they are both great movies. They stand out as wonderful examples of what could be achieved when "a cast of thousands" meant exactly that, with thousands of "extras" being paid a couple of bucks to stand in a crowd where everyone is dressed as an ancient Hebrew. And the pre-CGI special effects! Who can forget the "parting of the Red Sea" trick! And wasn't Charlton Heston great as Moses?? If I judge Noah harshly it isn't on biblical grounds. I just think it was a crap movie that is destined for the same fate as Demetrius and the Gladiators and the other Z grade biblical movies that nobody younger than age 60 has ever heard of. I can have a conversation with a gen Y about Ben-Hur and The 10 Commandments. They mightn't have seen them but they've heard of them - and they are 1950s movies. Do you really think Noah will have achieved the same iconic status in 2065?
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Noah
Apr 16, 2014 8:22:55 GMT 10
Post by pim on Apr 16, 2014 8:22:55 GMT 10
Here's the introduction to The 10 Commandments by Cecil B. de Mille himself. It opens the movie:
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Noah
Apr 22, 2014 17:31:01 GMT 10
Post by pim on Apr 22, 2014 17:31:01 GMT 10
Here's Bill Maher's take on Noah
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Noah
Apr 28, 2014 3:53:18 GMT 10
jody likes this
Post by Occam's Spork on Apr 28, 2014 3:53:18 GMT 10
The atheists hate it, the full on Christians hate it....the "normal" people like or love it. 3. Am I "not normal" because I think Noah is a crap movie? That tells us more about what you mean by "normal" than anything else. ...But there isn't really anything wrong with being 'abnormal', right?
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Noah
Apr 28, 2014 4:12:52 GMT 10
jody likes this
Post by pim on Apr 28, 2014 4:12:52 GMT 10
That's as may be, but it's also a red herring. I simply reject Jody's blithe and gratuitous characterisation of people who found the movie Noah to be a crap movie - as a movie and never mind its biblical (in)accuracy - as not "normal". That's what I call "echo chamber bullshit" - in other words "unless you sing in tune according to my song sheet there's something wrong with you".
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Noah
Apr 28, 2014 7:39:28 GMT 10
Post by Occam's Spork on Apr 28, 2014 7:39:28 GMT 10
The deepest thing in this Russell Crowe movie, is the water level.
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Noah
Apr 29, 2014 8:30:32 GMT 10
Post by Occam's Spork on Apr 29, 2014 8:30:32 GMT 10
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Noah
Apr 29, 2014 12:54:10 GMT 10
Post by pim on Apr 29, 2014 12:54:10 GMT 10
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Noah
Apr 30, 2014 10:52:50 GMT 10
Post by Occam's Spork on Apr 30, 2014 10:52:50 GMT 10
I can't see your picture, pim.
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Noah
Apr 30, 2014 13:14:02 GMT 10
Post by pim on Apr 30, 2014 13:14:02 GMT 10
It's a small gif smiley with an OMG expression holding up a sign that says "groan"
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Noah
Sept 7, 2014 19:10:53 GMT 10
via mobile
Gort likes this
Post by slartibartfast on Sept 7, 2014 19:10:53 GMT 10
Finally saw it. Dreadful. Even less believable than the bible version, if that's at all possible.
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Noah
Jun 18, 2019 20:14:10 GMT 10
Post by kiwithrottlejockey on Jun 18, 2019 20:14:10 GMT 10
I saw the movie a little while ago (before my cataract surgery which went very well, thanks for asking!). I'd heard it was a load of codswallop. It was. Yep, the whole Noah story is just a stupid fairy tale to suck in gullible minds and infuse them with religion so they'll get sucked into believing that the god delusion inside their imaginations is a REAL god.
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Noah
Jun 18, 2019 21:18:32 GMT 10
Post by pim on Jun 18, 2019 21:18:32 GMT 10
Not at all. I’m continually struck by the amount of information that you have access to through a welter of online subscriptions and yet it doesn’t result in any deep insight. You’re stuck on the fairy tale and you’re blind to the deeper truth. You have no idea of poetry, no feeling for metaphor so the Noah story is completely lost on you. All you can see is the literal surface meaning of the narrative with no sense of the deeper cultural and spiritual metaphor. I doubt that you have the slightest inkling of what I’m talking about but I’ll persist. 1. In Hollywood terms the reasons that the movie bombed as a monumental flop are twofold: (a) The classic Charlton Heston biblical blockbusters of the 1950s and 60s were Cold War allegories. Don’t believe me? Look at the very beginning of the « Ten Commandments » where Cecil B. De Mille himself introduces the movie and frames its message squarely in classic Cold War terms as being the story of « the beginning of freedom ». And (b) by any measure Russell Crowe as Noah utterly fails to measure up to Charlton Heston as an actor. Charlton Heston, fucked up politically though he was and a gun nut, was galaxies ahead of Russell Crowe as an actor. No way that the Russell Crowe would even come close. That scene where Charlton Heston as Moses does the parting of the Red Sea trick? Any way that Russell Crowe could have carried that scene off as well as Charlton Heston did? Or the chariot race in Ben Hur? Not a chance! 2. In biblical terms the Flood story was lifted from earlier myths and legends from the region. The ancient Hebrews began as polytheists like everyone else in that part of the world and they all had stories involving a great flood. Even the Greeks and Romans had flood stories in which Zeus/Jupiter hurled his thunderbolts. Clearly something happened and something did. Apparently just as the filling of the Mediterranean was an event that occurred suddenly as the Gibraltar land barrier that kept out the Atlantic Ocean collapsed and the water rushed in. A couple of cataclysmic years and the Med was full. Must have been traumatic. Same with the Black Sea. It filled suddenly and cataclysmically apparently at the end of the last Ice Age which puts it at around 10;000 years ago. Maybe a bit more. There were people at that time who would have been dramatically affected and whose lives either would have been destroyed or utterly changed. Naturally they mythologised it, just as the First People in Australia mythologised natural events and catastrophes. Thousands of years ago there were active volcanoes in Australia. If we take the trouble and respect to listen to the stories of this country’s First People we have a lot to learn about pre-European Australia. They witnessed volcanic eruptions and incorporated the stories in their Dreamtime mythology. Last night on the ABC program Q & A one of the panelists was a Wiradjuri woman who is also an astrophysicist. She not only embodied modern Western astronomy but also Indigenous astronomy. She was fascinating to listen to, and her cosmic insights were profound. There is no biblical conspiracy deliberately designed to hoodwink the gullible. Your problem, as Australia’s indigenous people would put it, is that you’ve “got no Dreaming”. There’s no poetry in you. No sense of the allegorical or the mystical. You don’t understand what “numinous” means and you’d be an uncomprehending boofhead barbarian if any silly naive person tried to explain it to you. So I think I’ve done enough casting pearls in vain before this particular swine so I’ll leave you to snuffle in your pigswill.
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Noah
Jun 22, 2019 19:57:18 GMT 10
Post by pim on Jun 22, 2019 19:57:18 GMT 10
Oh I dunno. Granted it’s a shithouse movie but it doesn’t lack for company in the Fellowship of Shithouse Movies. “The Man from Snowy River” is beyond bad.
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