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Post by matt on Oct 16, 2012 21:51:13 GMT 10
I am currently getting into this book fifty shades of grey and it is pretty full on. I however do not object to the content, I believe there is a proper place for it and that is in literature.
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Post by jody on Oct 16, 2012 22:02:43 GMT 10
well the trilogy is very badly written, the sex OTT....all the Oh my's, biting bottom lips, crap, crap and double crap...gets very tedious after a while. I skipped over the sex scenes and the only thing that kept me reading was to find out why. The 2nd and 3rd books do get a little better as far as the poor writing goes but no, these are not books I would recommend. Read them at your own risk.
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Post by jody on Oct 16, 2012 22:03:40 GMT 10
oh and this is far from literature Matt. This is badly written porn by a very unattractive woman who should keep her fantasies to herself.
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Post by matt on Oct 16, 2012 22:05:04 GMT 10
oh and this is far from literature Matt. This is badly written porn by a very unattractive woman who should keep her fantasies to herself. I love the fact we have freedom of thought!
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Post by jody on Oct 16, 2012 22:06:28 GMT 10
yes agree but some thoughts should stay just that....thoughts.
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Post by matt on Oct 17, 2012 19:28:10 GMT 10
I have no problem reading about BDSM, when it is written it is art.
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Post by jody on Oct 17, 2012 19:53:22 GMT 10
yes by someone who can actually write well. 50 Shades is a very young read.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2012 9:43:35 GMT 10
Where's the... "Have not read it and I don't intend to" button?
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Post by jody on Oct 20, 2012 11:56:22 GMT 10
good decision Grim.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2012 9:14:11 GMT 10
You have to be joking Matt! Although I've never read the book and don't intend to, I do know it is nothing but porno trash. The author is laughing all the way to the bank because idiots buy this book.
My sister sent me a hilarious review of 50 Shades which she reckons was written by a teenager it is that bad. She only read part of it because it was lent to her and didn't finish it because it was so awful.
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Post by jody on Oct 21, 2012 9:40:22 GMT 10
I think I may have read the review you're talking about Stellar......was very funny.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2012 11:21:59 GMT 10
I believe a (the?) central character is an Armani-suited, helicopter-flying 27 year old (yeah, right!) billionaire?? Plausible
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Post by jody on Oct 21, 2012 11:29:36 GMT 10
lol...yep, that's Mr Grey. Also with a killer body and looks that will melt you.
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Post by jody on Oct 21, 2012 11:33:01 GMT 10
The end of the first book is a shocker....In all honesty, to me it was appalling and I almost didn't bother to read the second but I am the type of person if I start something, I finish it.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2012 9:03:28 GMT 10
I think I may have read the review you're talking about Stellar......was very funny. These are the two reviews my sister sent me, lol .... Did a teenager write this? I really don't like writing bad reviews. I admire people who have the courage to put pen to paper and expose themselves to the whole world, especially those writing erotica. Having just finished this book, however, I feel compelled to write a review. About half way through the book, I looked up the author to see if she was a teenager. I really did because the characters are out of a 16 year old's fantasy. The main male character is a billionaire (not a millionaire but a billionaire) who speaks fluent French, is basically a concert level pianist, is a fully trained pilot, is athletic, drop dead gorgeous, tall, built perfectly with an enormous penis, and the best lover on the planet. In addition, he's not only self made but is using his money to combat world hunger. Oh yeah, and all of this at the ripe old age of 26! And on top of that, he's never working. Every second is spent having sex or texting and emailing the female character. His billions seem to have just come about by magic. It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their "dream man" and came up with Christian Grey. Then come the sex scenes. The first one is tolerable but as she goes on, they become so unbelievable that it becomes more laughable than erotic. She orgasms at the drop of a hat. He says her name and she orgasms. He simply touches her and she orgasms. It seems that she's climaxing on every page. Then there's the writing. If you take out the parts where the female character is blushing or chewing her lips, the book will be down to about 50 pages. Almost on every single page, there is a whole section devoted to her blushing, chewing her lips or wondering "Jeez" about something or another. Then there's the use of "shades of". He's "fifty shades of @#$%% up," "she turned 7 shades of crimson," "he's ten shades of x,y, and z." Seriously? The writing is just not up to par, the characters are unbelievable, and the sex verges on the comical. I don't know what happens in the remaining books and I do not intend to read them to find out. But given the maturity level of the first book, I imagine that they get married, have 2 perfect children, cure world hunger, and live happily ever after while riding into the sunset, as the female character climaxes on her horse causing her to chew her bottom lip and blush fifty shades of crimson. Jeez! and ... Bestseller……Really ? I enjoy erotica and heard so much about this book that I had to give it a shot, but I'm five chapters in and just can't take it anymore. This has to be the most appallingly atrocious writing I've ever seen in a major release. The pseudonymous British author sets the action (such as it is) in Washington State... for no reason than that her knowledge of America apparently consists of what she read in "Twilight"... but the entire first-person narrative is filled with Britishisms. How many American college students do you know who talk about "prams," "ringing" someone on the phone, or choosing a "smart rucksack" to take "on holiday"? And the author's geography sounds like she put together a jigsaw puzzle of the Pacific Northwest while drunk and ended up with several pieces in the wrong place. And oh, the repetition...and the repetition...and the repetition. I'm convinced the author has a computer macro that she hits to insert one of her limited repertoire of facial expressions whenever she needs one. According to my Kindle search function, characters roll their eyes 41 times, Ana bites her lip 35 times, Christian's lips "quirk up" 16 times, Christian "cocks his head to one side" 17 times, characters "purse" their lips 15 times, and characters raise their eyebrows a whopping 50 times. Add to that 80 references to Ana's anthropomorphic "subconscious" (which also rolls its eyes and purses its lips, by the way), 58 references to Ana's "inner goddess," and 92 repetitions of Ana saying some form of "oh crap" (which, depending on the severity of the circumstances, can be intensified to "holy crap," "double crap," or the ultimate "triple crap"). And this is only part one of a trilogy... If I wrote like that, I'd use a pseudonym too. Like some other reviewers, what I find terribly depressing is that this is a runaway bestseller and the movie rights are expected to sell for up to $5 million. There are so many highly talented writers in the genre... and erotica is so much more erotic when the author has a command of the language and can make you care about the characters. For examples, check out the "Beauty" trilogy written by Anne Rice under the pen name A.N. Roquelaure, or any stories by Donna George Storey or Rachel Kramer Bussel. Just stay away from this triple crap. *UPDATE*: Thanks to the many other perturbed readers who have shared their own choices of the most annoyingly overused phrases in this masterpiece. Following up on their suggestions with my ever-useful Kindle search function, I have discovered that Ana says "Jeez" 81 times and "oh my" 72 times. She "blushes" or "flushes" 125 times, including 13 that are "scarlet," 6 that are "crimson," and one that is "stars and stripes red." (I can't even imagine.) Ana "peeks up" at Christian 13 times, and there are 9 references to Christian's "hooded eyes," 7 to his "long index finger," and 25 to how "hot" he is (including four recurrences of the epic declarative sentence "He's so freaking hot."). Christian's "mouth presses into a hard line" 10 times. Characters "murmur" 199 times, "mutter" 49 times, and "whisper" 195 times (doesn't anyone just talk?), "clamber" on/in/out of things 21 times, and "smirk" 34 times. Christian and Ana also "gasp" 46 times and experience 18 "breath hitches," suggesting a need for prompt intervention by paramedics. Finally, in a remarkable bit of symmetry, our hero and heroine exchange 124 "grins" and 124 "frowns"... which, by the way, seems an awful lot of frowning for a woman who experiences "intense," "body-shattering," "delicious," "violent," "all-consuming," "turbulent," "agonizing" and "exhausting" orgasms on just about every page.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2012 11:17:25 GMT 10
Priceless, Stellar! Thanks for sharing. They are among a raft of similar reviews on Amazon...worth a look
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Post by jody on Oct 22, 2012 12:22:06 GMT 10
Yes that's it Stellar....a friend tagged me in it on fb. I'll see if I can find out who wrote it.
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Post by slartibartfast on Oct 22, 2012 21:54:10 GMT 10
lol...yep, that's Mr Grey. Also with a killer body and looks that will melt you. They finally wrote a book about me. About bloody time! ;D
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Post by jody on Oct 22, 2012 21:57:44 GMT 10
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2012 8:18:59 GMT 10
Grim/Jody ...
These reviews are hilarious and I must say from all accounts are better than the book!
There are just two more I want to post before giving the subject a miss ...
Once upon a time... I'm Ana. I'm clumsy and naive. I like books. I dig this guy. He couldn't possibly like me. He's rich. I wonder if he's gay? His eyes are gray. Super gray. Intensely gray. Intense AND gray. Serious and gray. Super gray. Dark and gray. [insert 100+ other ways to say "gray eyes" here] I blush. I gasp. He touches me "down there." I gasp again. He gasps. We both gasp. I blush some more. I gasp some more. I refer to my genitals as "down there" a few more times. I blush some more. Sorry, I mean I "flush" some more. I bite my lip. He gasps a lot more. More gasping. More blushing/flushing. More lip biting. Still more gasping. The end.
Then this rather irreverent one that came via my b-i-l as it is circulating through the RTA - our own homegrown bogan version of Ana and Christian.
50 Shades Mount Druitt Style:
Even though he had only one tattoo I yearned for him all the same, to fill the lonely hours between Dr Phil and Days of our lives.
As he approached me with pasty white arms and mullet gently blowing in the breeze, his smile told me it was dole day, and I knew my trackie daks would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight.
As I stood in the line for Centrelink thinking up numerous reasons why I couldn’t work, his pungent manfume overtook my senses. It was a mixture of sweat, Dunhill Blues and Lynx Africa.
I turned and there he was - Dazza, with his pants halfway down his arse - our eyes met and soon after he took my innocence on the wheelie bins behind Woollies. He had already tied his staffy up in the lane way so our passion would not be disturbed. There was a homeless person watching but it did not bother us only enhancing the passion and mystery of the laneway even more.
I knew straightaway it was love so I promised him then and there in 9 months I would buy him a plasma tv with the baby bonus.
Hmmm must send that one to my son who often works in the - as police put it -"all roads lead to the Druitt" territory.
I promise no more, lol.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2012 8:45:52 GMT 10
The author of that last one should be raking in the millions.... Too funny!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2012 8:53:58 GMT 10
Amazing isn't it that a publisher would accept such a laughably written book for publication?
They might be on a winner but I honestly can't see why. My sis was saying that if she had bought that book she would have been demanding her money back it was so awful.
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Post by jody on Oct 23, 2012 9:11:40 GMT 10
If the author had have thought about the books a bit more and changed a few things, it wouldn't have been too bad. Make the characters a little older and believable, be a little more subtle with the sex and a little less bullshit and not be so repetitive with the biting lip, oh crap and oh my. As I said it's a young read and quite a few women I know under 30 seem to enjoy it.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2012 14:28:55 GMT 10
One would hope that books are not going the way of television...massed produced pap to feed the vacuous masses...!
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Post by jody on Oct 23, 2012 15:07:51 GMT 10
The first film (as far as I know) has already found a production company Grim. There is loads of talk as to who will be cast as Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele. The books are huge believe it or not. Even Oprah Winfrey has recommended it.
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