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Post by matt on Sept 27, 2012 14:43:36 GMT 10
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2012 14:44:30 GMT 10
From SFGate.comJesus, I’m married!By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist | 4:26PM - Tuesday, September 25, 2012Refuted translation: “And lo, the wife did make me a very fine sandwich so that I may watcheth the game.”MAYBE the more sublime cosmic messages, the more winking and tasty revelations come only when humanity is ready, when at least a sufficient portion of the population is educated and awake enough — and even then, the jolts only arrive in smallish portions we have the tentative capacity to stomach. You think?
Like, say, the size of a business card. Like, say, the dimensions of that astonishing little scrap of papyrus from the 2nd century AD, a rather explosive fragment currently being by studied — and certainly quite adored — by very some smart people indeed, including Harvard’s own noted divinity professor Karen King, one of the finest scholars of ancient religions in the land, and one who seems increasingly convinced the scrap is completely legit.
Have you heard? Have you seen? For lo, the news hath spread far and wide, hath surely confounded many a true believer and scowling priest alike, even as it induced another long and beleaguered sigh from the subjugated female species of the world.
For lo, the fragment doth quote Jesus himself as referring to his “wife,” to Mary Magdalene herself as being one of his disciples, and to “dwelling with” none other than (oh no!) a woman.
You read that right. Jesus was (probably) married. To a very fine woman indeed.
What? Heresy! Blasphemy! Utter desecration to the hoary, patriarchal view of Jesus as being a tortured, celibate loner who would never touch a woman’s naughty bits; to Mary (and subsequently all women throughout history, forever) as being a lowly, repentant whore, and to sexuality and females alike as being lesser and dangerous, fearsome twin forces of chaos and destruction to be avoided at all costs.
Indeed, the language on the tiny scrap of sacred wood pulp, if legit, entirely upends, even voids much of the church’s silly stance on Jesus’ perfect celibacy (which was hugely suspect anyway), and on its sad endorsement of abstinence as some sort of ridiculous and impossible ideal. Not to mention offering up all sorts of reminders about just who wrote the Bible, and for what ugly, searingly political, authoritarian reasons.
As King herself told Smithsonian Magazine (I’m citing the Guardian here), the fragment casts serious doubt on the whole Catholic claim of a celibate priesthood based on Jesus’ celibacy. And that’s just for starters.
Is that too dramatic? Too difficult to believe? Hardly. It’s exactly those kinds of bleak, soulless teachings the church has leveraged for millennia to maintain control and keep women — and their terrifying, hysterical sexuality — in check. You know, for starters.
What’s more, a normalized, married, more “human” Jesus just isn’t a very good sell to the huddled, fundamentalist masses who’ve been hammered for centuries by the tragic lie that their gods are distant, judgmental megalomaniacs far separate from lowly, sinful humanity, and the best you can ever hope for is to maybe work hard enough, endure sex awkwardly enough, and pay enough money to the church so you don’t go straight to hell.
All this from a tiny scrap of papyrus? Indeed. This might just be how it works. Maybe, just maybe, we’re finally ready to hear a bit more explosive truth. Maybe the church’s brutal stranglehold on divine insight is giving way just a little bit more. Or maybe it’s all just a foregone conclusion anyway. Which do you prefer?
After all, the revelation isn’t exactly new. To any intellectually curious mystic, to any scholar worth her black Madonna studies and serious Magdalene inquiries, to anyone with a hotly functioning spiritual pulse, Jesus and Mary have always had a very obvious thing, far more interesting, more archetypal, more fantastically mysterious than the church (or even Dan Brown) could ever conceive.
Put another way: What we don’t know about Jesus’ life, and about Magdalene as she relates to goddess lore and pagan history, what we don’t know of the true (bloody, brutal, heavily political) origins of the Christian faith and how the church founders manipulated and re-wrote everything to suit their needs, still far outweighs what we do.
It’s the space dust that points to the cosmos, the drop that signifies the ocean: the papyrus scrap is surely just a hint, a wisp indicating far wider and deeper truths.
Don’t you already know? There are thousands of such scraps, scrolls, parchments, fragments, not to mention entire books, gospels, songs, glyphs and mythological tracts lost to history and time, some burned in wars, some intentionally hidden or buried by the paranoid church itself, some lost to long-dead civilizations. The adorable tale of Jesus’ sexy wife is like a sly teaser to a grand movie we can’t quite see just yet, but which we’re all fully participating in, every single day.Son of God, 2012 “babes-on-a-papyrus” edition.What do you think? Will this tiny hunk of evidence be a serious game-changer? Will it be sufficient to upend millennia of dry, sexually numb religious doctrine? Will it advance, even a little, the church’s insufferable view of women?
You already know the answer. Authentic though it may be, the new finding will likely not lead to much radical anything. The Pope will not smile, the church code will not loosen, the male-owned and operated religions of the world will not suddenly explode and be remade anew. I mean, come now. Old, angry white men have held the reins of power for thousands of years. You think they’ll give it up over a two-inch scrap of papyrus?
But it sure is delightful to imagine…
“OMG you guys!” the Catholic church did not proclaim, in a shocking announcement. “We just learned that Jesus was almost certainly married. And had sex! Probably all the time! With Mary, no less! Can you believe it?
“Turns out she was this sort of devastatingly divine disciple of his, this luminous goddess creature who was surely Jesus’ consort, lover and equal all in one, not a whore at all and certainly not some lesser, subservient doormat. Amazing!
“Turns out the mystics have been right all along: Mary was a real force of lunar/Shakti nature, one who — how shall we put this? — “infused” Jesus every single day and twice on Sundays (!) with essential, chthonic feminine nectar, with a kind of immanent yonic power we here in the Vatican can only pray and fantasize about. And boy, do we ever.
“And Jesus? He surely returned the lustful favor in the only way the son of God possibly can: by offering up some endless divine masculine ground, and ever encouraging the sacred feminine dance upon it, over and over again, until they both passed out.
“Right? Isn’t that fantastic? A couple of hippie rebel Jewish mystic anarchist kids having hot, married sex under the eye of an approving God, probably every single day because, well, you’re Jesus, fer Chrissakes. You got skills, you know? Stamina galore. Winks all around!
“Friends! Believers! Catholics! Looks like we’ve been wrong about much of our own bogus patriarchal mythology all this time. Isn’t that wonderful? Isn’t that refreshing? Isn’t it about goddamn time? This changes everything. Now, who wants some female priests? You know, for starters?”blog.sfgate.com/morford/2012/09/25/jesus-married
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Post by matt on Sept 27, 2012 15:17:49 GMT 10
Jesus is Lord and you cannot refute or deny it.
I just hope you accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour before you die.
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Post by jody on Sept 27, 2012 15:30:40 GMT 10
Hi Matt.
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Post by pim on Sept 27, 2012 16:00:21 GMT 10
Be charitable, Phil! The Devil made him do it!
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Post by jody on Sept 27, 2012 16:05:50 GMT 10
I think you'll find Matt simply came on here to ask me something.....he has no plans on staying.
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Post by pim on Sept 27, 2012 17:11:31 GMT 10
So this thread is really just Matt popping in to tell you something privately, having a look around but with no intention of staying, but deciding to drop his guts on the Religion Board on the way out.
OK, got it!
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Post by jody on Sept 27, 2012 17:15:07 GMT 10
lol...I guess he just wanted to remind us of his faith which is fine. Yes he just wanted to tell me he has made me and Veritas admins of a group he made quite some time ago as a back up board. He has set himself as an ordinary member. Just another spare board just in case.
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Post by matt on Sept 27, 2012 17:26:49 GMT 10
Well, Matt, that was a short-lived "I need to be off these boards" policy! ;D What was the exact quote again...? Oh yes: "I want to become a better person and being on here makes that task a lot harder."I still take an interest in the forum, doesn't mean I'll participate as much, at least not for the next year. I have my son to look after and raise, as well as working full time. Perhaps when he is 1 year old things will be better. And I do want to become a better person, I want to give up my racist thoughts, become tolerant and accepting of all people. I am going to become a Freemason.
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Post by jody on Sept 27, 2012 17:28:47 GMT 10
Good for you Matt. Improving ourselves in even the smallest ways is something everyone should do.
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Post by slartibartfast on Oct 3, 2012 23:42:55 GMT 10
Whenever I drop my dacks, the girls say "Oh, my Lord"!
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Post by pim on Oct 4, 2012 0:40:48 GMT 10
At the moment of orgasm, how would you vocalise your moment of bliss? Kevin Rudd might gasp "Oh programmatic specificity!" but then he is truly weird. I think OMG! might be uttered and gasped more often than OPS!
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Post by pim on Oct 4, 2012 8:47:43 GMT 10
I adore Frodo. Mind you, I think Gollum is pretty cool And reading the Silmarillion was for me a deep and profound spiritual experience ...
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Post by Occam's Spork on Oct 6, 2012 8:27:23 GMT 10
No Historian or writer from the first century mentions Jesus or a single solitary word of any of that stupid story. ...And how many surviving records from first century historians do we have mentioning ANYTHING? Compare that number to the amount of first century Biblical manuscripts, the pervasiveness of Christianity within weeks of Christ's reported death, and the subsequent persecution of the Church under the hand of Emperor Nero, THEN tell me Jesus didn't exist. Evidence is clear: You may not believe the evidence in the NT actually happened, but Jesus' OWN CONTEMPORARIES (some of which were eye-witnesses) were pretty certain it happened, and they were willing to die for it. "Truth must necessarily be stranger than fiction, for fiction is the creation of the human mind and therefore congenial to it." -CK Chesterton (Perhaps you ought to be asking yourself, why you are amongst the very few who think christians ought to be locked up)
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Post by garfield on Oct 6, 2012 9:27:38 GMT 10
Jesus was a homo.
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Post by Occam's Spork on Oct 6, 2012 9:40:24 GMT 10
There are plenty of records from the 1st century writers and historians - I have a list of about 45 and not one mentions Jesus or that stupid story. ...And most of them are incomplete. So I don't know how you plan to maintain that assertion; but I expect you'll dishonestly plan to use it again on someone less informed. I'm not fooled. There are plenty of extra-biblical accounts. Thallus, Tactitus, Pliny...
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